Road Trip & Hot Pot

OHMYGAWD..... Mission is SO FAR.... coming from the city and going to Mission is like a mini road trip! Gosh, I am such a city girl!! It's only about an hour away but really it is so far! This afternoon, Kay, Rhoda and I headed out to Mission to take a look at some Pomeranian pups that I saw online last week. One of these pups caught my eye cos it looked similar to Ari and I was in love with him. After speaking to the breeder and getting my credentials in order (yes I had to give her references and fill out a two page questionnaire, one serious breeder!), I realized I was in love with the wrong pup. She had not yet posted new photos of "Jasper" and in fact, I was in love with a female pup named Esme. Oh gosh, now I am not sure what to be expecting since I was in love with the beautiful pup I thought was Jasper and when we finally arrived, a few hours later (long story short, we needed to give her some time to prepare the pups for showing), he was def not WHAT I was expecting :( Esme was the adorable pup online and in the end I didn't end up buying any of them cos of many reasons, one being Esme's price $1500 (with NO PAPERWORK), er I don't think so! Going out there wasn't a big loss since now I know exactly what I want and do not want. Ari came from a particular breeder that breeds "teddy bear" Pomeranians and yes they do cost a bit more but their faces are much cuter cos they really do remind you of a teddy bear :) I've decided that when I'm in Taipei this fall, I will look and see if I can find a cute "teddy bear" Pomeranian pup (very popular in Asia and Ari was Taiwanese) :) Now I will continue to wait and hopefully, one day I will be able to bring home another Pomeranian or I could always adopt a small dog from a shelter, there are so many unwanted dogs out there :( After the long drive back, we basically spent the afternoon in Maple Ridge / Mission, we returned to my house so Kay could quickly get ready for a b'day dinner cos I had said I would drive her to her BFF's place so they could go together. But Rhoda and I had a hot pot dinner at her friend's house so we quickly rushed back into Burnaby and to my surprise, met up with an old friend back in high school days!! It was nice to see her again and everyone at the dinner was super nice. It was very relaxed and an entertaining nite! Now must catch up on some sleep......

One Year Anniversary

of Ari's death... RIP... I can't believe it's been a year... we love you and forever miss you dear Ari

Final Results

The final results of Ari's autopsy is in. It breaks my heart to hear what happened and even though it made me cry uncontrollably at work (call came in on my cellphone), this information closes the chapter of Ari's death.

Forever in our hearts and mind.... R.I.P ARI

A few ...

... more thoughts ...

Ari was really my dog and I think even Kay realized this. I guess this is why I am more heartbroken and devastated by his death than Kay is. She is handling this much better than I and she is my support system. My baby girl is really not a baby girl anymore, she is so mature and such a strong person that she has been comforting me, reassuring me and supporting me for the last few days.

In my mind, I know I will truly never be over this and I know I should try to stop feeling guilty and stop thinking about his death. Instead, I should focus on his life and the happiness he brought into our lives. This is going to take time and I know once I get over this part of it, it will get easier. My brother (who lost Bea a year and a bit ago) reassures me it will and one day, I will be able to look back and only remember the happy and great times we had together. I must accept and deal with his death and realize that I did whatever I could to save him (if not beyond). I know my brother is right and he isn't at all surprised that I am still so upset. (I called him late in tears) He let me know this will take a while before I am at that place where I can smile and be happy when thinking of him and his life with us.

But of course, I have new guilty thoughts to deal with .......

Although I would like to express my new guilty thoughts, I think I better not cos there are people who care a lot about me that read this blog and I don't want them to worry anymore. Their support, love and understanding is helping me through this and without them, I don't know how I would handle this....

THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU.... (y'know who you are)

Rainbow Bridge

(Image provided by CC49 on flickr)

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.


You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...

Author Unknown.... Poem found on Pet Loss Grief Support

Sleepless Nights

This past weekend has been really hard for me. For the past three nights, I have been restless, feeling guilty and crying many tears about our dear sweet little Ari. I really miss his companionship so much so that my mind is starting to go through all the emotions of guilt and I am replaying the last couple weeks of his life over and over. What could have I done earlier? Why didn't I take him to the vet when he wasn't himself? What if I never took him away from his first home, I'm sure the previous owners (the ladies) who had him would have notice something not quite right with him and maybe his life could have been saved. Why couldn't I have noticed earlier? Why couldn't we save his life? So many whys, maybes and what ifs. All I know is he didn't live a full life and it was indefinitely too short.

The one month anniversary is coming up in a few days and I am having a really rough time. I can't stop thinking of my little Ari and how much we loved and adored him. He was such a smart and beautiful dog, I am still so devastated by his loss, not knowing for certain if I will ever get over his death but all I know is we really miss him terribly so......

RIP Ari, forever loved and missed.....

Home is where the heart & soul are....

Going Home

Today, after work, we (Rhoda, Jess and I) headed over to Canada West Veterinary Specialists & Critical Care Hospital in Vancouver to pick up Ari's ashes and to consolidate the outstanding invoice. I had finally spoken to Dr. Sharp on the telephone earlier about some questions regarding the billing and after speaking to him, I started to cry. I have been trying really hard to think of the happy times we had together but once I spoke to him, all the painful memories of Ari in ICU came flooding back to me. Dr Sharp was, of course, very apologetic for our loss and wished he could have done more. I asked about the test results and he told me to check back in a couple of weeks as the samples went all the way to Britain to the very best lab to find out exactly what happened to little Ari. Rhoda is counting down the days as she has already marked it down on her calendar and will remind me as soon as the month is up. Hopefully, this will be the closure I am looking for so we can look past the last week of his life. Instead celebrate and remember the 8 months we had with him. One final piece is that I need to pick out a fave photo of Ari and order a pet urn from 7 year etch so we can customize it for his final resting place. Once we arrived at the hospital, I nearly broke down again cos it brought back the sad memory, the last time I was here, I said good bye to Ari and I was with him for over an hour, this trip back to the hospital was very hard and devastating. We discussed the invoice with the receptionist and she spoke to the office manager about our MRI courtesy discount. While we were waiting, Dr Sharp was kind enough to stop by and send his thoughts and again apologize for our loss. After settling the invoice, the receptionist handed us a paper bag with Ari's remains in a sealed box and a memorial clay with his name and paw print stamped on it. That was very sweet and I am so happy to have that. I hadn't decided if I wanted to take him home quite yet but after dinner, I realized it would be nice to have him home except that I left him in the trunk of Rhoda's car when she dropped me off. I will try to get the urn ordered by tomorrow so I can have it within the next couple of weeks.

RIP Ari, forever loved and missed......

Pup Shots

This morning, Rhoda forwarded an email with photos of Ari as a pup. The previous owners were kind enough to go through their photos and send them to her. Awww... gosh, I can't believe he ever had an ugly pup face and why would they put him in a tiara and a bow!?!? He's a BOY!!!

As Rhoda wrote in the email:

He is a King indeed....or should I say PRINCE"SS"

Monday Morning

This morning, I came into work with a much better happier attitude cos I figured I couldn't keep coming into work being sad. As I was talking to a friend, Val came up to me with a card. I opened the envelope and inside was the most adorable Hello Kitty card with a small group of signatures and words from my co-workers. Also included with my card was a SPCA contribution card, they all got together and made a donation in memory of Ari. The kindness made me cry, tears of happiness, and I couldn't believe how supportive and thoughtful they were. Val didn't mean to make me cry since I was in much better spirits but I assured her it was tears of happiness and I felt so good that a donation was made in honour of him.

RIP Ari, you will be forever loved and missed.....

RIP Ari

(Photos will enlarge in another window)

Ari passed away this morning from a cardiac arrest. I received the call at 2:06am and although I knew it was coming, it was still very hard to accept the fact that he will no longer be with us. The doctor allowed me to come to the hospital right away to see him but advised me not to drive on my own and to get someone to drive me there. My mom was kind enough to drive me as I had called Rhoda over and over but she must have been in a deep sleep. Once I arrived, the nurse brought Ari out to me, he was nicely cleaned and wrapped up and his body was still warm. He looked as though he was just sleeping and I couldn't believe he would never lick my face again. Although I am completely heartbroken and devastated, I know that his suffering has ended and no dog (or person) should ever have to go through what he had to. Thankfully, he was not in any pain because he was heavily sedated when he passed, I knew that the condition he was in, we would not have much time left with him but I could not bring myself to put him down. We loved him with both our hearts and soul, we miss him dearly, our lives will feel empty without him but we will never ever forget the happiness and joy he brought to our lives. The last 8 months with him have been wonderful, joyous, loving, and full of life. He was our best loyal friend and his life made our life. I would not have it any other way.

WE LOVE YOU ARI.

YOUR PAW PRINTS WILL BE ETCHED INTO OUR HEARTS FOREVER.

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by
And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye

Bye Bye - Mariah Carey E=MC Squared

Ari

Ari is not doing too well, he seems to be under the weather and is def not himself. The spark is gone from his eyes but we are hoping he just has the flu......

Trout Lake Park

After dim sum, we headed home and while mom ran her errands, I managed to do a little bit of housework. It was a really nice sunny day (although it was hot and cold!) to be outside. Rhoda sent me a text earlier in the afternoon to see if I was interested in taking the dogs out for a walk, she had to run some errands first and would drop by right after. I thought that was a great idea and Trout Lake Park isn't that far from where we live. The walk is not too far or long and if Ari gets tired (which I know he can get pretty tired easily), I could just carry him home :) She arrived a little after 4pm and we went for our walk, I never realized how dog friend Trout Lake is! There is an off leash area and a leashed area on either side of the lake. Although, the park wasn't well kept probably due to all the dogs and dogwalkers, it was still a really nice park to take our little boys to. They quite enjoyed the walk and both were ready to pass out when we got home! Rhoda stayed for dinner and we went upstairs to eat cos mom and grandma had made dinner for us. Of course, we brought our own brown rice cos we don't eat white rice well we actually limit our white carb intake. I wasn't really that hungry at dinner cos we had so much at dim sum but everything on the dinner table was yummy and all our fave dishes! It was a great day with family and BFFs :)

The Drive

The nice weather carried over from yesterday so Kay and I decided to take a walk down Commercial Drive. We needed to pick up some dog food for Ari and I had a coupon for Mr Pets on Commercial. It was such a nice walk and so much going on and so much to look at. We did a stop at COBS to pick up some bread cos I had a coupon for there as well! We picked up some dog food and new treats for Ari cos he's running low on treats. He is such a funny dog, he kept barking and chasing after the pedestrians on the sidewalk, I think after a little while he got used to all the people and decided to just walk. Hopefully, this week will be nice and sunny!

So cute!

Ari thinks he's human sometimes.... this morning, I caught him sleeping on his back with his legs up in the air and I had to take photos of him, gosh isn't he so cute!!??!!

What A Week!

HonHon arrived on Friday, Feb. 8 and he brought back a ton of Hello Kitty goodies for me! All the HK items are so very cute and of course, I was spoiled yet again! Of all the items I received, my fave items are the bathrobe, the bathroom mats and the door curtain. His suitcase was super heavy but it wasn't all me! He also brought back some stuff that my mom had left behind in Hong Kong (jars of XO sauce) and my sister sent some cute outfits for Ari! He got a cute denim jacket and a cheongsam. We tried them on him and they are so cute! Need to get some photos of him in them :)

There was so much that we had done, I'm just gonna write all the highlights of the week:

• Gifts, gifts and more gifts! Apple Classic iPod for me and 5 or 6 Wii games for Kay
  
• Louis Vuitton - All in the Monogram Vernis line (my very fave!) in 3 different colours: Koala wallet in pomme d'amour (candy apple red), key and change holder with name plate in amarante (deep dark purple/black), and the agenda of course which I purchased earlier and oh yes, LV 2008 refills for my small agenda.
  
• V-day dinner at West on Granville which was lovely. I love dining at West, it's my fave restaurant in Vancouver, worth every dollar! We only go once or twice a year and it's a time where I get to dress up and feel like royalty. I ordered the smoked sablefish and HonHon ordered the tenderloin, both dishes were incredible!
  
• IKEA for mattress shopping, we finally found an inexpensive queen size bed for HonHon's condo in Burnaby and what a day we had putting the pine bed frame together, apparently, the screws and brackets were misplaced!
• Trying out new restaurants and re-visiting old favorite ones! We must have eaten out every day at least once!
• Home-cooking twice, once HonHon made us dinner and I made homemade pizza for him.

It was nice to spend some quality time with him and Kay. I took the week off and Kay was allowed to take Friday off (every Friday is half a day) as HonHon's flight was tonight. Can't believe he's left already, it's very quiet and empty. But in a couple of days, we'll be over it. Usually, he leaves on a Sunday but China Air switched the times around and HonHon does not like these times. But overall, it was a great visit and it was so nice to see him, hug him, kiss him and spend some long overdue quality time together as a family (even though he did a lot of sleeping as you can see in the photos! I guess cos he's on vacation or jetlagged?!?!). The only thing I really regret is that we made a verbal deal about Louis Vuitton. No more Louis Vuittons until my birthday in August .... of 2010!! Yikes!! But I still love him even though we made the almost impossible deal. Well there are other luxury items that I love! :) It was such a great visit and we sure do miss him tons.... gosh did I mention that it feels quiet and something is missing.....

Cute Ari!

Snowed In!!!

First day of December and the first day of SNOW!! Amazing and what a beautiful sight!

Today, I was suppose to have lunch with Jas and we were going to do a bit of shopping downtown but the weather was super cold and it was snowing!!! Jas and I decided to call lunch another time, maybe some time during the work week as we both didn't really want to head out in the snow. I also had to cancel my evening plans which was a birthday/housewarming party in Mission. But I didn't want to take the chance of driving out there and getting caught in the snow storm. Earlier on the news, there was a snowfall warning and I decided to take the warning seriously. Besides, my little VW bug would def. not make it to Mission and back through 5 or 10 cm of snow!!

Since I canceled my plans, my mom decided she wanted to go out in the snow and that we should take my grandma's car cos grandma's car/tires can handle the snow to run a few errands. The snow was not coming down too hard in the beginning so I figured it would be ok to drive out there and the main roads aren't so bad cos the salt trucks and snow pushers were already out on the roads. My gosh, were we ever wrong!! The snow kept coming and it was so FREEZING cold out there!! Already, I had on a couple of layers (including a cashmere sweater) and a big down filled jacket with a hood and scarf but my rain boots did not work in the snow. My feet were freezing and my jeans were def. not warm enough, I should have worn some long johns or tights under my jeans!!! I def. am investing in a pair of snow boots cos I think everyone should have some esp. living with weather like this!! It was predicted that we were going to get snow for the weekend and I actually went on Robson to look at some but didn't buy any cos I didn't think it would actually snow and if it did, not like this! Plus the practical ones are ugly and the fashionable ones, hmmm... not sure if I actually want to spend that much money on a pair of snow boots. We quickly ran our errands so we could get home as soon as possible. After our errands, mom was upstairs making dinner for us and Kay decided to take Ari out in the snow. Gosh, did Ari ever enjoy the snow! He is so cute, he was jumping and chasing Kay and eating the snow!! It was great to finally come in and have some hot chocolate though :) After playing in the snow, Ari needed to take his bath and he was not too happy about that. But now he is so soft and clean! Great day in the snow!

Sunny (early wake up!) Saturday

OMG, this morning the construction started at 6.00am!!! That is incredibly ridiculous!! It's a bloody Saturday for f*ck sake!! Do these people not know that most people like to sleep in over the weekend? Gosh, what can you do? Nothing just move out of the area!!

Today was the grand opening for PetSmart in North Vancouver and we were quite excited about having another pet store chain opening near us. We invited Rhoda and Bosco but didn't hear back from them until we were done, apparently Rhoda got a new phone and she does not like it coz it doesn't work. She's a bit peeved about that. I'm sure she'll find something eventually. Kay, Ari and I picked Jas up from her place and we headed down to the opening. Gosh, it was super busy but not as busy as I thought it would be, we were one of the first 500 people to visit the store and we got a free (XL) t-shirt and some goodies for Ari. We also signed up to be a member coz you get discounts and specials if you are. We picked up a couple of new collars for Ari and a toothbrush/toothpaste set for his teeth, we don't want to get his teeth fixed! It's more expensive than getting your own teeth fixed and Poms are prone to bad teeth. I'm not looking forward in brushing his teeth though, he doesn't even like getting his hair brushed or his paws washed! Can't imagine him liking the toothbrush or toothpaste! We needed to pick him up a new body collar (baby blue with bling) coz the other one is kinda ugly and it covers up too much of his hair which is not a pretty sight. We also wanted to get him a neck collar (for easier dog leash access) and a gold bone dog tag with his name and phone number on it. After browsing through the entire dog section, we decided to stop over to Tim Horton's and Michaels before heading back into Vancouver. Yummy, haven't had a donut from Timmy's in a while! Double chocolate donut (or donut cake as HonHon calls it!). Kay and Jas had a bagel with cream cheese and gosh, does Kay ever like cream cheese! But she is a strange one, she doesn't like cheesecake!! After catching a quick snack, we headed over to Michaels to find Kay some plasticine or play-doh for her sciene project but gosh, Michael's is super expensive! We decided to try Zellers or Superstore since we were heading back to Vancouver to do a little grocery shopping.

Once at Oakridge, we headed into Zellers to see if we could find Kay some play-doh but it was too expensive for one jar and she needed a few colours for her "cell" project. We decided to browse the shopping mall before heading to Superstore, might have been a mistake coz I ended up buying a pair of Nine West shoes and a pair of Seven jeans from Aritizia. The Nine West shoes were an awesome find coz they are super sexy and they look like Christian Louboutins! The signature red on the bottom and the mini peep toes perfect for fall! I do have a couple of pairs of black peep toes but those are obviously for the summer. I love these shoes, so hot and sexy plus 4" heels! Also decided to suck it up and buy a pair of decent jeans for myself. I realized I've dropped well over $400 on GAP jeans that do not fit me well at all which I ended up giving them away or to consignment instead of spending that amount on a pair or two of decent jeans. I tried on a couple pairs of 7 for all mankind and ended up with this pair that fit me perfectly like a glove and I love the colour! Yes they were a bit steep in price but worth every single penny! The length and fit is perfect and these are def. super comfy jeans! Really, I only need one or two pairs of these jeans coz I don't wear jeans too often but do like to go casual on some days but not too casual (like pumas and sweats!). Can't wait to try them out! After picking those up, we decided I had done enough damage in one day and headed off to Superstore. We had decided that Jas should come for dinner and we could rent a movie coz we hadn't done that in a long time so we picked up dinner for tonight and some groceries for the rest of our last official week at the apartment. But since we are moving our furniture this upcoming weekend, we decided to pick up frozen dinners and easy pasta / sauce for the rest of the week coz a lot of our dishes and kitchen stuff has already been moved over to our new place or packed away in storage. After Superstore, we headed home to prepare dinner while the girls went over to Black Dog to pick up a movie. We all wanted to watch Transformers (I hadn't seen it yet, those two didn't mind watching it again) but Black Dog was out so we ended up with Fantastic 4: The Rise of the Silver Surfer which is not that good and I really don't want to review it. After dinner, we had apple pie with ice cream (Jas's treat) and walked Ari before driving Jas home. It was def. a fantastic day / evening!

October Already?!?!

Wow!! I can't believe it's October!! Time has flown by so fast and so much has happened in these last few weeks. I haven't had a chance to update my blog coz it's been pretty hectic and busy! Let's see, I'll try to break everything down in point form:

• Ari, formerly know as Ferarari, is a new addition to our family! He's a 1 1/2 year old Toy Pomeranian and he's the smartest dog EVER!! He is so cute and fluffy, his personality, crazy! Sometimes he's super hyper and sometimes he's super mellow. We love him so much and feel so lucky to have him! He's the new man in the house :)
• Moving back home but not for free! Not exactly back at home but in the newly renovated basement suite at my mom's house. I worked out a deal so that my rent is lower than what I am paying right now and a lot of my costs will be gone so I can pay off some debts and start saving $$ for our future house. Also, home is a great place to be right now since my grandma is 88 years old and I would like to help out. My mom takes care of my grandma full time and since I'm there almost every weekend anyways, it might be handy just to be downstairs.
• HonHon came for a 10 day visit and brought back lots of goodies! Among the goodies, my pink Dior bag (finally!), Coach knock offs for Kay, lots of pink Hello Kitty stuff and goodies (food etc) from all the places he has visited during his business trips. It was nice to finally see him since it's been 6 months since we've seen him and lots has happened since his last visit. Kay grew an inch and a half and I've lost 20 pounds!
  

I think that's about it, those are the main events that have happened over the past few weeks. Oh wait, one more thing, we celebrated my mom's big birthday right before she left for Hong Kong. She has not been back to Hong Kong in a couple of years and she decided to go celebrate her "big" birthday with my sister who is also celebrating her birthday the following day. It will be good for both my mom and sister as my mom needs a break from Vancouver and my sister hasn't seen her in two years. I think mom is having a "big" birthday party with family. With us, we had a Seafood dinner at Sun Sui Wai in Richmond. The dishes we recieved were ok not the best and I think at one time, they were pretty good but not so much now. My grandma did not end up going to Hong Kong this time so I have been spending some time over there making sure she's alright and comfortable. Besides that, not much else is happening except that I am packing up our stuff and storing or moving it to either my mom's or my dad's. My dad has kindly offer (for free) to store my stuff until the time comes when I might need it. Kay and I are doing a lot of downsizing! We are trying to get rid of as much stuff as we can or store the stuff that we cannot part with. I haven't even begun her room yet coz I am not looking forward to cleaning and going through her stuff!! But most of my kitchen, living room, bathroom, art room and bedroom has been packed up! More photos on my flickr account.