... more thoughts ...
Ari was really my dog and I think even Kay realized this. I guess this is why I am more heartbroken and devastated by his death than Kay is. She is handling this much better than I and she is my support system. My baby girl is really not a baby girl anymore, she is so mature and such a strong person that she has been comforting me, reassuring me and supporting me for the last few days.
In my mind, I know I will truly never be over this and I know I should try to stop feeling guilty and stop thinking about his death. Instead, I should focus on his life and the happiness he brought into our lives. This is going to take time and I know once I get over this part of it, it will get easier. My brother (who lost Bea a year and a bit ago) reassures me it will and one day, I will be able to look back and only remember the happy and great times we had together. I must accept and deal with his death and realize that I did whatever I could to save him (if not beyond). I know my brother is right and he isn't at all surprised that I am still so upset. (I called him late in tears) He let me know this will take a while before I am at that place where I can smile and be happy when thinking of him and his life with us.
Ari was really my dog and I think even Kay realized this. I guess this is why I am more heartbroken and devastated by his death than Kay is. She is handling this much better than I and she is my support system. My baby girl is really not a baby girl anymore, she is so mature and such a strong person that she has been comforting me, reassuring me and supporting me for the last few days.
In my mind, I know I will truly never be over this and I know I should try to stop feeling guilty and stop thinking about his death. Instead, I should focus on his life and the happiness he brought into our lives. This is going to take time and I know once I get over this part of it, it will get easier. My brother (who lost Bea a year and a bit ago) reassures me it will and one day, I will be able to look back and only remember the happy and great times we had together. I must accept and deal with his death and realize that I did whatever I could to save him (if not beyond). I know my brother is right and he isn't at all surprised that I am still so upset. (I called him late in tears) He let me know this will take a while before I am at that place where I can smile and be happy when thinking of him and his life with us.
But of course, I have new guilty thoughts to deal with .......
Although I would like to express my new guilty thoughts, I think I better not cos there are people who care a lot about me that read this blog and I don't want them to worry anymore. Their support, love and understanding is helping me through this and without them, I don't know how I would handle this....
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU.... (y'know who you are)
1 comment:
Don't worry about Ari. I'm sure he is doing very well in Doggie Heaven (along with my dog).
In Doggie Heaven, there are mountains of bones, and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt.
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